The subject of hospitality is often discussed when ministers and their wives get together. A deep concern is expressed by many of them that hospitality is not being practiced by many members of our Christian communities and thus an urgent need is not being met. Lonely people are everywhere singles, sick and shut-ins, and newcomers to our neighborhoods and churches. They need love, caring, kindness, attention; they often feel “left out.”
Before I proceed further, I wish to make it clear that I am not speaking of the congregation which we are presently serving. My observations are based on my experiences as a minister’s daughter and as a minister’s wife for twenty-seven years, plus the comments of numerous other people.
Hospitality is defined as a warm reception of guests, the practice of entertaining visitors with kindness and courtesy. The Bible commands us to practice hospitality (Romans 12:13 & I Timothy 3:2) and to use hospitality one to another without grudging (I Peter 4:9), Some people think this refers only to ministers and elders because of the context of I Timothy. Even though I feel that they should be good examples of hospitality, the responsibility does not stop with them. The contexts of the other two verses show that this virtue is to be found amongst all of God’s children. Paul and Peter are both talking to churches. giving instructions for Christian living. Even though the manner of hospitality has changed since the days of the early church, the basic principle still holds. It is another “fruit” of the Christian life.
Excuses abound in this area of life. Females say: “My house is not clean enough”—“My furniture is not very nice”—“I never know what to serve” It’s too much work.” The male members state that they don’t feel like it or they don’t have time. But as is the case with so much of our Christianity, priorities are the problem. So much of our time is given to sports and recreation; a lot of time is spent in front of the T.V. A little of this time could be given each week to hospitality. I don’t think our homes and food are valid excuses either. Most people that are invited to your home will not criticize your house or food. (If they do, that’s their problem!) I like to have my home adequately clean and neat and I enjoy setting a pretty table with attractive and tasty food. But that should not become a god! Perhaps we feel too competitive in this area and we need to simplify our menus. Besides, we have so many convenient appliances in this modern age with which to do our work plus numerous food items that make for easy preparation. Not all entertaining has to be meals either; sometimes a coffee time is sufficient. And, of course, the shutins need us to come to them. We can still bring the meal or lunch while showing love and caring.
“I do entertain often” “I have a lot of company.” These are comments often made. But who are the people being entertained? They are usually relatives, special friends and “cliques,” and those who meet our standards of acceptability. Who gives us the right to set standards? Is this following the ex· ample of Christ? We really don’t have an “open door” policy toward everyone in our church or neighborhood.
We also become extremely age conscious. This is not necessary at all. Various ages can mix well and are stimulating to one another. Many of my good friends are not in my age bracket and I find it delightful.
People are often afraid to invite some new person or family or someone they hardly know. They fear that it will be difficult to talk and visit but in most cases it will not be a difficult task. It is interesting to find out where people were born and grew up, their hobbies, occupations, etc. In the case of Christians we have a common bond in our faith and love for the Lord. New friendships often develop from these deeds of hospitality. People feel loved and happy they leave our homes with a glow!
Another aspect of hospitality is that we learn to know one another and can therefore understand each other in a more helpful way. We share our joys, sorrows, and problems; we pray for one another more intelligently. It also keeps us from becoming too judgmental. And we often discover some hidden talent in a person which can be most useful in the church or community. Thus blessings of many types come from new friendships.
Church growth is aided greatly by a Christian community which is strong in showing hospitality. Our society is very mobile and families often move far away from their relatives and friends. The church really becomes their family and they need to feel wanted and accepted. This is an extremely cru· cial time for people and we many times fail as Christians in this area of life. To make new converts welcome is always part of evangelism. This means we love them and accept them as they are with their own national backgrounds, social customs and cultures. To speak and act friendly at the church is not enough; these people must be incorporated into our activities and daily living. Some of these people set wonderful examples of Christian hospitality, putting us to shame.
I am not recommending a big scale plan of hospitality, with dates set weeks and months ahead. But I do feel that our time should be budgeted to include this in our daily living. God’s Word commands it; it is another way of showing our love for God and for others. We should do it without grudging or patronizing; love, kindness and courtesy are the guidelines. Remember, you might entertain angels unawares! (Heb. 13:2)
Betty Teitsma (Mrs. Herman Teitsma), daughter of the late Rev. and Mrs. Marvin Vander Werp and wife of Rev. Herman Teitsma, pastor of the Christian Reformed Church of Sparta, Michigan.