Scripture: Matthew 19:3–15; I Corinthians 13

Background:

In the Bible we are repeatedly reminded of the many foes which the Christian must face throughout his life on earth.

These foes arrange themselves not only against the Christian in his intimate, personal, covenantal relation to God; they also attack him in a variety of ways in the several social relationships in which he is to serve his God. Hence he is to be always on the alert, realizing that at no time will he be free to take life easy.

Nowhere do these foes seem to be more successful in their attacks on us than within the family. That this divine institution is so relentlessly besieged need not surprise us. To a large extent all of us a be molded more by our family life than by any other earthly relationship. Therefore the break-up of a Christian home, no matter in what form this ruination appears, is always a signal victory for the foe.

We have repeatedly mentioned in these short and rather superficial outlines some of the chief enemies: materialism, indifference, lovelessness, concern for pleasure or prestige, unspirituality, etc. That these wicked influences at times seem to overpower us in our families results from the presence of sin within and around us. At times love seems expendable to some in order to insist upon authority, without which of course a family cannot function according to God’s will. At other times law and order are ignored by parents with the excuse that they really love their children and therefore cannot or will not insist on applying the rules. Both positions are equally untenable. They reflect the modem climate of life. And life today is actually characterized by both lawlessness and lovelessness. The Scriptures teach clearly that these two always go hand in hand. We can no more have true love without law than we have true law without love! Discuss the relation between these two as this applies to the home. In what sense is God’s Word the “law” for our life? How does God show his love for us in giving his Word? How is God’s law related to his love?

                 

Outline:

With the above in mind, let us consider some of the outstanding issues which face our Christian homes today. To keep the outline within limits, we will mention only three of the more basic ones. In each case by to relate your home situation to the prevailing conditions in community and nation.

A. Will our marriages remain permanent?

Today there is an all·out attack on the permanence of the marital relation. People think lightly of divorce. No less than one marriage out of four, so statistics tell us, will likely end in the divorce mill. Even in conservative, Bible·believing churches the rate of divorces runs much higher today than forty or fifty years ago.

Several factors seem to contribute to this. Public opinion against divorce has weakened. Emphasis has been laid on personal rights (esp. to love and be loved!) at the expense of personal responsibilities. Social and economic factors play a big part. Families move around so much, that they tend to become rootless. Our leisure society, with its affluence, tempts people to stray down the primrose path. Analyze some of these changes in modern society. Are divorced people more numerous in your community now than twenty or thirty years ago? If so, why? Has there been a change of attitude in your church?

Many suggestions have been proposed as possible solutions to stem this tide. More sex education. More supervised social activity for young people. Mention some others.

The sole satisfactory solution is the proclamation of God’s will for man in this matter. Once again we must emphasize to ourselves and our children that marriage is “for keeps.” Even writers on the subject whose Christian commitment is not dear openly state that divorce is no solution. Why not?

This problem is not new! The Pharisees came to Jesus with the question. In his day there were two schools of thought on just cause for divorce -a more conservative and a more liberal one. Do you think such division exists also with our churches? Is it legitimate? Note how Christ gets at the heart of the matter. He calls to men’s minds the creation-ordinance of God. Here he states God’s will for man. It comes with authority. Yet always the Bible adds promises for those who obey. Why can only the obedient find true happiness? Does Jesus make an exception here? Does this mean that adultery demands that the “innocent” party should seek divorce as the best way out? How should such a situation be handled?

The response of the disciples is illuminating. If the “rules” are so strict, they judge that nobody better get married. Notice how influenced they were by their environment. How does Jesus’ response really answer their objection? What does it mean to be “eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake”? The stress by implication in Jesus’ words falls on our need for daily grace from God to live in marriage according to God’s will and therefore in self-effacing love for each other. A person who does this “is able to receive” the Lord’s instruction. Should we tell our young people about difficulties which arise in marriage? Are we too eager to get them married off these days, with the result that they are unprepared for marriage as a permanent union? Do you believe that “a home that prays together also stays together”?

B. Will our children learn what is most important?

The family no longer seems to be the most basic social unit. We have made of our homes little more than hotels places to which we come from time to time merely to eat and sleep. Nearly all the former functions of the family have been assumed by other institutions—the school, the church, the club, the recreation center, the factory or office, etc. Compare this with the situation in Israel, and in United States a century or more ago. How do the claims of these institutions on our time tend to destroy family oneness? Should we discourage having so many activities in our churches? Why do you suppose both parents and children really dislike staying at home? Should we blame the automobile…or our own hearts?

Still, the family remains basic and will so remain, as long as we attempt to perform our God-given calling.

There is one function which no institution, not even the church or Cluistian school. can take from us. At best they can only help us as parents to discharge this responsibility somewhat better. It is to bring our little ones to Jesus. In which sense is this a family duty? the ba8ic family duty? What does it mean that children of believers are covernznt children? How much does this phrase mean in our churches today? Does it imply that rather automatically our children receive salvation?

To perform this task requires attention of both father and mother every day. What is the father’s task here? Why do you suppose many fathers do so little except lay down a few strict rules? Does his busy job excuse him? What do you think of his taking on a second job (“moonlighting”) in order to pay school tuition or provide a few of the “better” things? Should mothers with school-going children work outside of the home? Give some practical suggestions for making family devotions more meaningful to our children and young people. Show how true godliness is the sole safeguard against the enemies of the Christian home.

C. Will our homes reflect the love of God in Christ?

A home is much more than a house, no matter how conveniently provided with the latest gadgets and how lavishly furnished according to the best taste.

Also as Christians we ought to hang our heads in shame that these “things” consume most of our time, attention, and money. We have much better houses than our grandparents. It may well be asked whether we have better homes. And if our homes are not better than theirs. the more shame on us who have such far greater opportunities!

The real quality of Christian marriage and home-life is love. Here we must learn to distinguish sharply between the humanistic and the Christian understanding of love. What is the difference? Show how Paul insisted on the importance and uniqueness of love for all relationships of life. Which characteristics did he attribute to love here? How do these apply to your husband-wife relation? Can your children see this? How are these characteristics to be evident in your child-training program? Show how love for God in Christ Jesus alone keeps a home together and truly happy.