When I told my son, who is twenty-two, I was going to write an article with this title, he asked how I could do that, as I never worked.

What did you feel or think when you read this title? How has culture, your upbringing, and/or Scripture influenced your thinking about work? In this article I want to explain why you felt like you did and how Christian mothers (and fathers) should think biblically about this issue.

The Meaning of Words

As society changes, so do the words. With every new invention, whether a new thing or a new idea, a new word needs to be invented. It is difficult to come up with a completely new word every time, so often an existing word will get a new meaning. For example, when a thingy was invented to steer the cursor on the computer screen, it was dubbed a mouse, because it looked somewhat like the animal.

In a similar way, society has given new meaning to the words “working mother,” especially the working part. It now means being employed outside the home and getting paid for your work. Paul warns us in Romans 12:2 (English Standard Version), “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” So how do we Christian mothers go about that?

The History of Work

It is good to realize that for most of history, until the Industrial Revolution in the nineteenth century, most of the work was centered in or close to the home. The farmer lived on his land, and the people in the city lived above or behind the store, shop, or workplace. Work was a family affair, and everyone in the family had to pitch in. Parents, grandparents, and children each had their chores to their ability.

When factories started, this had to change. At first the whole family would work in the factory, but it didn’t work out very well and there was still the biblical notion that the man’s primary responsibility is provision and the woman’s primary responsibility is the home. This led to another extreme of the man only leaving the house to work and the wife staying home. For a number of years this was implemented so strictly that a woman would be let go from her job the day she got married.

With the women’s emancipation movement, some other ideas started to creep in. Being at home, managing your household, and raising your kids became something that was looked down upon. Going somewhere else to work for pay was being elevated to something to strive for. These notions were strengthened by other movements in society, such as socialism (and most of the -isms), because it is thought that the government would be better anyway in raising your children. We now live in a society that tries to separate women from the home.

God’s Idea

You can see how the anti-biblical and God-hostile ideas creep in on each other’s backs. They are being sold to unsuspecting people as wonderful new concepts, and many people who want to follow the trends buy into it. That’s how the words “working mother” could change its meaning.

As Christian mothers we need to be aware of all this. We know from experience that from the moment we become a mother we have been working very hard, being on duty 24/7 and 365. But in order to counter the world, we need to be intentional about what we take from the world and what we reject.

God’s idea for the working woman is to give priority to her household. We see this in the (in)famous Proverbs 31, but also in several other places in the Bible, like Titus 2:4–5: “and so train the young women to . . . be . . . working at home.” The reason being “that the word of God may not be reviled” (v. 5).

The different tasks for men and women were put in words by God himself right after the fall. He told Adam to leave the house to earn a living working “by the sweat of your face” among the “thorns and thistles” (Gen. 3:18–19), while Eve was to bear children in pain (Gen. 3:16). So from creation onward the bearing and nurturing of children is the task of women.

God created out of chaos an orderly world for people to live and thrive in. In the same way mothers run their households in order for the children to grow up in a structured environment, that is, with correction, boundaries, routines, and chores. The work everyone does is meant to serve the Lord (Col. 3:23–24). The mother’s work is an extension of God’s work and is rewarded by God, as Jesus said: “And whoever gives one of these little ones even a cup of cold water because he is a disciple, truly, I say to you, he will by no means lose his reward” (Matt. 10:42). It is important to understand that the emphasis on a woman’s responsibility to work at home doesn’t indicate that she doesn’t work at other locations too.

   

Priority

The topic of this article is not to tell you that you should or should not work outside of the home for money, while leaving your children in the care of somebody else. This article is about how to set priorities, because your priorities decide your actions. To prioritize is to make a list of what’s most important in your life. If you are a Christian, at the top of your list should always be to serve our Lord as best as I can. Why? Because he is God and wants to be glorified. This is what many people don’t like, because they’d rather serve themselves. But if you practice the Christian life, you will find out that everything you give, or dedicate, or do for this all-powerful God, you will get back in blessings more than tenfold. With real joy on top of it.

Children

Why do we have children? The main biblical reason is: because God gave them to us. Children are a heritage from the Lord (Ps. 127:3). God wants us to pass on our Christian heritage to them so he can bless us. When we raise our children in the fear of the Lord, we are evangelizing in the most important way.

So what should be your priority concerning your children? This important question is one for both parents. Our culture is quick to answer: your children need to be provided for with all kinds of material wealth plus the latest in electronics. A God who loves you and your children, wants you to raise them in the fear and to the glory of him, because he made them and gave them to you to raise. This is a huge responsibility and certainly one to stay home for, as recommended in Titus 2:5.

Do you want someone else to do the raising for you? Children look at the people who raise them for their example. You are the best one to teach them their language, to sow the seeds of faith, to show them how to live out of faith, to tell them about the Lord and what he has done for you. This is not to mention that you want to be there for their milestones: the first steps, first words, first bicycle ride, and be there for them in sadness and in joyful times. It’s good to remind yourself of that when you are in the middle of cleaning up the fiftieth spill of the day . . .

It is the husband’s responsibility to encourage his wife to fulfill her role as a biblical mother. He needs to encourage her to stay home and run the household of which he is the head. Being the head doesn’t mean he should be involved with the details of running it. But being an example to his children and making sure that the whole household is run to serve and glorify the Lord is certainly his most important responsibility.

The Need to Work Outside of the Home

Many mothers will encounter the need to work outside of the home. The reasons are many, be it the husband is out of work or supplementing income to send children to Christian school. If the reason is solely to be away from the children, you need to question honestly your priorities again, because your priority should not be just yourself.

Nowadays you can “have it all” by working from home. Again: keep your priorities in mind. If you go through the motions of taking care of your baby, but your thoughts are elsewhere, your child will know. Of course our minds need to figure out much more than our kids realize, so we are often distracted as it is. But if our attention is also with our cell phones, or the problems at work, too little attention span is left over for the children, and they either give up getting your attention or resort to doing extreme and destructive things that they know for sure will get your attention.

The Need for Sanity

Mothers need to take care of themselves too. For this they also need the support of the husband. A mother is better at all her many tasks when she is mentally sane, so she should try to stay as healthy as possible.

The number one priority for sanity is to stay close to God. Read your Bible as often as possible, and pray at all times. When you do pray at all times, you will experience that God is always there to give you the strength or the solution needed.

There are other ideas too:

Attend a conference for moms or women once in a while

Balance work hours with the children in mind

Be extremely strict about nap time so you can get a nap (or some Bible reading) in

Leave the kids with grandparents or a baby sitter regularly to go out with the man in your life; he needs your attention too

Join a MOPS group, Bible Study Fellowship, or Bible study with child care

You can do some or all of the above without feeling guilty, because your priority is the welfare of your children.

The Need to Say No

Once a mother told me she tried to stay home with the children, but then she became overwhelmed with volunteer jobs. As everybody else was working, the few stay-at-home moms were overburdened with all the volunteer jobs. She started a job outside of the home just to be out of this situation.

This is a common problem in our time, and this solution is not a good one. Apart from hoping that women who read this article will realize it’s really important to stay home with their children, there might be several other solutions. The most important one is that you learn to say no.

This time is following a time when every mother stayed home, and many unpaid, volunteer jobs are still left over from that era. Some reorganization would be in order and will take place if there are not enough volunteers anymore. If your priority is to take care of your children, you should also keep that in mind when taking up volunteer jobs. This also applies to volunteer jobs in the church community. If it’s too much for your life right now, learn to say no.

As is true in your own family, in the church are probably small jobs you can do that will fit in your life. For example, you can be on the nursery roster when your own kids are in the nursery. If we mothers keep in mind that we are all in this together, we can help and encourage each other and so add to the spiritual building that is the church.

We as Christian mothers need to realize that we need to fight for the God-given privilege of raising our own children. We need to fight the wrong concepts and ideas that the world, or society, is trying to impose on us. We need to give it the highest priority in our lives, being born ourselves “for such a time as this” (Esther 4:14).

We need to stand firmly planted in the Word and glorify God by fulfilling the task he has given us by blessing us with children.

Mrs. Annemarieke Ryskamp was born and raised in the Netherlands. She graduated with a master’s degree in Dutch Language and Literature from Utrecht University and worked for the Dutch l’Abri and as a secondary school teacher at United World College in Singapore. She was married to Dr. Richard Ryskamp and was widowed in 2015. They raised two sons who are both in graduate studies. The family are members of Dutton United Reformed Church in Dutton, MI.