I am a beauty queen ill the fullest sense of the word. When I walk, heads turn. I am not conceited, but it just happens to be this way. I am such a startling beauty that even kings take notice of me, a nomad’s wife. Because of my appearance my husband acquired “sheep and cattle, male and female donkeys, men-servants and maid-servants, and camels.” I was even taken into the king’s palace. But the LORD struck the king and his household with serious illness because nobody knew that I was already married.

How quickly beauty fades! Some women are beautiful at twenty, or at thirty, or even forty. But how many eighty year old women do you know who can still turn a man’s head? Impossible? No, it is true. Even though I was m my late eighties or maybe even ninety, I turned heads. And not of some down-and-out, or weirdo, but of the king himself. Truly, I am a beauty queen . My name is                           ?

“Hello, I am Useful.”

“What? Useful? What a queer name!”

“Yes, my name is Useful. Let me tell you my story. In the beginning I was not very happy with my work; as a matter of fact, it was a real drag. Not only were there no labor unions, but there were also no arbitrators of disputes. I was so unhappy that I became useless to my master. In the end I ran away (and some said I had ripped him off as well. After all, I needed money to defray travelling expenses). After having escaped from my master, (No , his name was not Simon Legree.) I became a foster son and servant to an old man in prison. At least he understood how it felt to be a slave. He even boasted to others about his position (if you can call it that) as a slave and a prisoner. But then I became a slave to somebody else, thereby becoming free. Thus having received my freedom, I returned to my master, “better than a slave,” but legally as a slave. Who am I?

Lt. Glenn P. Palmer, the writer, is stationed in Belgium. His address is USDAO Embassy, APO NY 09667.