John G. Kruis is the pastor of the Christian Reformed Church at Sussex, New Jersey, and a member of the National Association of Nouthetic Counselors. Nouthetic Counseling is the method of Biblical counseling developed and promoted especially by Dr. Jay E. Adams. The word “nouthetic” was coined from the Greek word which is translated “admonish” in such places as Col. 3:16 and Romans 15:14 and is used to indicate the kind of Biblical Christian counseling which Christians should be giving to others.

Tom’s Problems

Tom, (the name is fictitious, the case is factual) a victim of a broken home, had started smoking marijuana when he was about fourteen years old. At age nineteen he and his two close friends were into it quite deeply. Tom was already experiencing the sad consequences of his sin. No longer could he keep his car on the road. His money was going for the purchase of pot. He was behind in his car payments and his car was in disrepair. Tom was in danger of losing his job at the factory. His father was threatening to expel him from the apartment which they occupied together.

In January (1981) the young man admitted that he was making a mess of his life. He said to me, “I’m blowing my mind.” He expressed the desire to quit smoking pot and to get things turned around in his life. I assured him that by God’s grace and power, he could overcome that sin, be set free and enjoy a new and different way of life. (Cf. I Cor. 10:13; Rom. 12:1, 2; I Cor. 6:9–11.) Thankfully, he started to see some hope.

Counseling

We began to work on his problems together, meeting for counseling almost weekly. I did that which many counselors among us would wholeheartedly disapprove of, especially in working with teenagers. I worked primarily with the Scriptures, as our guide and instrument to help bring about change in Tom’s life. As we identified his various problems (which were complex) we also sought God’s way out. Since drug abuse is a life–dominating sin it was necessary to work at a total restructuring of his life. Changes were necessary, for example in his home life, devotional life, his social life (especially friendships) and recreational life. Changes had to be made in his work habits and financial management. Basic, of course, was his total spiritual outlook. He had to break old sinful attitudes and behavior patterns, and develop new and godly ways, put off the old man of sin with its deeds and put on the new man (Eph. 4:22–24).

The first several weeks were extremely difficult. The road was very rough and Tom had his ups and downs. However, he made very significant progress. As he saw that life was becoming more pleasant he was encouraged to continue working at change.

Social Problems

As one would expect, the area of his social life presented special problems. His two bosom friends (with whom he had a close friendship since early childhood) were neither ready to kick the habit of pot smoking, nor to accept counseling. Tom had quit attending all church functions, so he had no friends there. There were no meaningful contacts with close relatives. Consequently about the only thing he could do with his free time was to stay up in that apartment and listen to his records and tapes (hardly a beneficial pastime) and watch television. So before long he complained, “It drives me up a wall to just stay up here. I can’t stand it.”

One had to sympathize with him as he struggled with this problem. It was imperative to come up with a solution. Quite naturally, I counseled him to return to the church. But I also said, “To help fill the vacuum you ought to get involved in some wholesome recreational activities.” Finally I suggested, “Take up golfing.” At first that didn’t sound interesting to him. Not at all!

Try Golfing

By the time the golfing season arrived his problem remained. So I insisted, “I’m going to take you golfing.” Well, at first he found excuses when I tried to make arrangements to go. However, finally he did agree to go with me. I must admit that as we took the half-hour drive to the golf course, I had my apprehensions. Would a 19-year-old fellow really enjoy golfing with a minister—one in his fifties? Was I being unrealistic? To be quite frank, I was praying!

The course was an easy one to play, the weather ideal. Naturally, since Tom had never golfed before, he got off to a slow start. However, by the fourth hole he was already doing surprisingly well and was obviously beginning to enjoy it, especially when he made a 180 yard drive. On t he 14th hole—a 270 yard drive, just to the right of the green! By then he was riding on cloud nine. And I could not have been more delighted. What he didn’t know was that I was also busy thanking the Lord as I was walking down the fairways! Tom actually golfed a 56 on the second nine. For the sake of non-golfers—that’s extremely unusual for a beginner.

It was Tom who suggested that we ought to go agam soon. This we did. Again he did amazingly well, a 48 on the second nine. As we left the course we arranged to go again, but I warned him t hat he could hardly expect to keep doing that well.

The third week of August Tom called me. Excitedly he said, “Guess what? I bought a set of clubs.” I replied, “Great, man. That’s just great.” That was exactly what I had hoped would happen. The rest of the summer and through the fall Tom went golfing about twice a week.. Happily he found another golfing partner. His social and recreational needs were being met. The temptation to join his friends in smoking pot was greatly diminished.

In October we golfed together again, this time on a much more difficult course. We ran nip and tuck almost all the way, finishing in a heavy downpour. But we were having fun. Tom was the victor—by one stroke. More significantly, Tom had gained a much more important victory. I asked, “Any problems with smoking pot now?” With obvious delight he replied, “I haven’t touched it for several weeks.”

Biblical Counseling Is Practical

Why write about this? To help destroy some of the myths about nouthetic counseling, which come to my attention from time to time. This brief account of only a small part of my involvement with Tom demonstrates the falsity of some of the myths.

It demonstrates that nouthetic counseling is not biblicistic. We don‘t just throw a bunch of Bible texts at a counselee and say, “Now just live by the Bible and all of your problems will be solved.” We do unashamedly hold that the Bible has the answers to even t he most difficult and complex problems, and we use the Scriptures as t he infallible rule for faith and practice (II Tim. 3:16, 17). But we also show the counselees how it gives direction for even the nitty gritty things of life. In Tom’s case, for example: What does God’s Word have to say about friendships? What bearing does that have on your life right now? What changes must you make? How can this be done? What does putting off the old man have to do with your recreational activity? What changes must you make in this?

Nouthetic counseling is not simplistic. Quite recently I read a comment again which implied that nouthetic counselors work almost exclusively at motivating people to get right with God and to start living by the Bible. Supposedly they expect that if this is accomplished the problems will go away. To be sure, we place a strong emphasis on the necessity to get right with God, through repentance and faith in Jesus Christ. This is primary. However, as in Tom’s case, we also work through the many complex problems, along with their contributing factors. We give counsel and work intensively with counselees to help bring about the needed changes in their attitudes and behavior. In this way, through the power of the Holy Spirit, problems are solved.

Helping People

Nouthetic counselors do not lose rapport with either young people or adults by using the authoritative Word of God and the directive method. Would Tom have gone golfing with me (also by his request) if I had lost rapport with him? My experience has consistently been that directive counseling, with the open Bible does not destroy rapport. Rather, through the work of the Holy Spirit, it helps to establish and maintain it . Nouthetic counseling is not a hard-nosed, unsympathetic, unloving approach. Did my insisting that Tom should establish other friendships, that he had to put off the old sinful habits and put on new a nd godly ways, exclude sympathetic understanding and a loving concern? What do you suppose moved me to take Tom out golfing (which took preference for a time or two over golfing with my usual golfing partner, my close pastor friend)? Nouthetic counseling, the Bible and golfing go well together.

P.S. Neither Tom nor his dad had to shell out from 20 to 75 dollars a counseling session. It didn’t cost them a cent.