“. . . but a foolish man despises his mother.” Proverbs 15:20b
“The future destiny of the child is always the work of the mother.” Napoleon
When Mrs. Bootsma asked me to write an article for this issue, I found it not difficult to accept. Like most men I do regard my mother as the one who set an example of unwavering love and loyalty to her children. Now that my own mother has left this earth, I find that our own children have the same regard for their mother. It seems that even drunks and criminals esteem their mothers as very special people. A while ago, I heard a story from a former policeman about a mother-beater who was punished by his skid row cell–mates.
This forty-year-old man was living with his old mother, not working and not supporting her in any way. Just bumming around and, when drunk, was in the habit of beating her up. She had called the police several times to take him to the “cooler,” the place where drunks are kept for a night to sober up. The police despised this man not so much for drinking, but for living off his mother and beating her. They would have liked to have the mother lay charges, but the old lady never wished to do so. The policemen were also tempted to “rough up” the man a little, but of course this is against the rules. So once more, the mother called for police assistance, and they transported the man to the station, and put him in a cell with other “pick ups.” They “warned” the occupants that a dangerous man was brought in who had just given his seventy–year-old mother a severe beating, and gave them a rather gruesome description of the state of the mother.
After the police left the cell block, they heard quite a bit of commotion in the prison quarters. When things had settled down they went to have a look and found the bad son laying on the floor, badly beaten. When the officer asked them what had happened, they said: “He fell off the bunk and hurt himself.” The moral of the story: even those who did disregard the teachings of their mothers, and became excessive drinkers, still possess a great deal of disgust for a person who has sunk low enough to brutalize his mother. One may thus conclude that even on skid row, motherhood is regarded as t hough not sacred, as something to hold in esteem.
Today is Mothers’ Day again, and whether we still have a mother or not, we are reminded by means of the media, the business world, and Mothers’ Day sermons, of the importance of a mother’s role in the lives of her children. Judging by all this activity, one might think that motherhood is at it’s peak in human history. Alas, there is overwhelming evidence to the contrary. The dislike of authority, the generation gap, women’s liberation and the like have contributed to the decline of motherhood. Many teenagers despise their mothers and “women’s libers” have convinced many a mother that staying home and doing household chores is just a few steps away from slavery. It appears that even our first lady in Ottawa has been bitten by the liberation bug. Yes, motherhood is on the decline. Not long ago abortion was considered one of the most abhorred crimes in humanity. Killing an unborn baby was such a hideous thing that only a young woman in extreme despair would go to some sinister back alley abortionist to seek relief, and society as a whole was strongly opposed to this. But things are changing fast lately. “Honour your father and mother” is taken with a grain of salt even among the children of God.
In the “light of science” we are told that murderers, sex deviates and all sorts of criminals are the result of mothers (and fathers) who are overly domineering and/or strict in the upbringing of their children. Thus many of the ills of our society are blamed on the narrow mindedness of Bible-thumping Christians who are against the so much desired freedoms of our age. According to Margaret Mead , a well-known anthropologist, the family as we know it now, father, mother and children (the nucleus family) is on it’s way out. Judging by the development of the last half century she may well be right. The secular society is rapidly moving away from old values based on biblical concepts. Issues such as sexual freedom, premarital sex, extramarital sex, homosexuality, abortion and sexual equality are more and more becoming discussion items. Christians are getting confused and bewildered. Some feel we should somehow adapt to the changing times in order to keep the “now” generation from being swept along with the currents of unbelief. They consider themselves advanced christians and the term “tradition” is enough to ruffle their feathers. Others want to hang on to anything and everything what was considered appropriate in the past. Difficult times for a mother to give guidance to her offspring, and though the need for Bible study is more stringent than ever, women’s societies (and men’s societies) are on the decline.
May this Mothers’ Day mean more to us than giving lip service to motherhood and for a change doing the dishes or serving breakfast in bed. There will be many surprises in eternity, and one of them may well be that a mother who was instrumental in bringing up her children in the fear of the Lord, has achieved far more than a father who has been working from dawn to dusk in order to provide his family with luxury and status in the community. George Herbert, the English clergyman and poet, is quoted as saying: “One mother is worth a hundred schoolmasters.” May this Mothers’ Day be an opportunity to reflect and meditate on the sayings of the author of Proverbs and others.
This contribution of Mr. Meyer appeared previously in the Onward magazine of the Christian Reformed Church of Brantford, Ontario, Canada.