A fierce spiritual battle is raging all around us, and times are difficult for all Christians as the devil prowls around like a lion, seeking whom he can devour (1 Peter 5:8). Mothers are an easy target, because they can be hit from many different angles. Not only the God-ordained institutions like marriage, children, and the care of elderly parents are under siege, but also a huge issue for modern mothers is distraction by the (social) media. A woman who fears God provides stability, comfort, beauty, and order in her home. This is a tall order and requires faith, hard work, and a willingness to be prepared for most anything. Be encouraged that you are truly a modern Proverbs 31 woman if you take your call to be a mother seriously.

In this article I want to shine a light on mothers and how they can feel encouraged in their faith journey and resist the devil, by being aware and wary of all the attacks on their most important and God-glorifying tasks.

       

Marriage

The temptations from the world start early. Marriage itself is under attack. You’re not cool if you want to marry, especially someone from the opposite sex. You’re certainly uncool if you want to wait for sex till you are married. Even if you did everything right by your marriage to a biological and Bible-believing male and you waited for its consummation, you still embarked on a difficult journey in a fallen world. Every relationship needs a lot of attention and maintenance. The world will help you to have too-high expectations and will help you to feel unhappy and neglected or jealous and controlling.

A common problem is that women start to idolize their husbands and put that relationship above their relationship with God. I can testify that a single woman has more time to devote to God, like Paul observed (1 Cor. 7:8). This time and attention goes to her husband as soon as she is married.

So where should she go when she cannot resolve differences with her husband? Of course her physical safety and that of her children is paramount, but for other issues she should go over her husband’s head and approach God directly about it. The institution of marriage was God’s idea, wasn’t it? He is the one having to provide the grace and the wisdom and the necessary changes of heart in both your husband and you. God is the very best counselor in marriage problems. God can also change circumstances that you can’t, even in a miraculous way. Trust him for providing the necessary solutions to your problems.

Work to keep the lines of communication open with your husband, and with your children. Always make time to listen when they want to talk. Many problems can be avoided by listening and talking about it before it becomes a problem.

That’s not to say that you couldn’t talk to your friend, or mentor, or counselor, or read a book about it (Prov. 11:14). These all fall under the work that you are willing to do to improve your marriage. For example, I found the book Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus helped me to understand the different communication styles of men and women. They speak different languages! Of course there are many good Christian books, but stay vigilant, because there are also many books with bad advice out there. Make sure your number one book is always the Bible, and if you get advice, make sure it’s biblical before you take it to heart. If you want to see a professional counselor, make sure this person has a mature faith and counsels you from his or her faith and is not setting the goals from a worldly point of view.1 The world will quickly advise you to divorce this man, but that’s against God’s will entirely: “To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband . . . , and the husband should not divorce his wife” (1 Cor. 7:10–11, English Standard Version). Let God take care of your marriage, in his time and in his way. Trust him. He really knows best.

Maintaining your marriage is extremely important in light of your main God-given task, which is raising children. It has been proven many times that a child thrives in the context of a family unit according to God’s creation. That is a father and a mother who are faithful to each other. Of course we live in a fallen world where all kinds of bad things can and will happen. But one of the best ways to love your children is by building a strong marriage.

Children

We know that all children are miracles, gifts from God. Sadly the world is valuing that life less than ever before, with abortion too often the answer for an unexpected pregnancy. If God blesses you with children, either biological or adopted, please realize that raising children is the most important task there is in God’s eyes. Why? Because he created them, and you get the honor (even if it doesn’t feel that way) to raise them to God’s glory. May your goal always be to make sure they know their heavenly Father and Jesus the Son, who died for them too: “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Prov. 22:6, New King James Version).

Realize that they are not your children. They are God’s, and you may (temporarily) take care of them. This knowledge relieves you of some of the responsibility and at the same time intensifies it in other ways. You do have the responsibility to raise them to the best of your ability and as much to God’s glory as you know how. The good part is that God has the final responsibility. He knows your child and he knows you; he knows your weaknesses; he knows the future: he knows how your child will turn out. That might not be according to your ambition or wishes, but it’s always within God’s knowledge. When you have to let go of your child at some point, you know that God will still be in control all the time.

The devil is aware of all this and loves to work according to his own world order, going against everything that God has ordained. The worldly pressures on our children are tremendous, which increases the effort we need to put in to protect them. The world would like to break up the nuclear family and take our children away to turn them into social justice warriors. But don’t underestimate the activism of a mother! God gave mothers supernatural strength concerning the protection of their children. Appeal to God for that strength and stand up for God’s ways.

Our world today also gives parents many other challenges that require wisdom to sort through. Some examples include such issues as schools and education, health (e.g., food and vaccinations), and the use of digital media interfering with a healthy childhood.

If this sounds daunting, it is. These are issues for both parents, but still we cannot do this without God’s help. Fortunately God is more than willing to bless us in our efforts. Jesus himself promised this: “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33, English Standard Version). This is how 1 John 5:5 puts it: “Who is it that overcomes the world except the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?” So it’s of crucial importance that we maintain our personal faith in Jesus as the Son of God and read God’s Word by ourselves and as a couple and family, and stay close to him by prayer. “For it is you who light my lamp; the Lord my God lightens my darkness. For by you I can run against a troop, and by my God I can leap over a wall” (Ps. 18:28–29).

Again, find help when you struggle. Find other Christian moms with children so you can share experiences. Realize that your kids grow up so fast; make time with them count. Listen to them, ask them what is on their mind. They are going to remember the time that you spend with them. Find institutions that are set up to help, like Focus on the Family, Answers in Genesis, homeschool groups, and others that publish Bible-honoring teaching materials. Don’t fight the battle alone. More than ever Christians need to unite and circle the wagons around our children.

Pressure is mounting on all fronts, and it will confront every single Christian institution, school, congregation, denomination, and ministry. We must all decide here and now where we stand. We need to find our fellow sisters (and brothers) in Christ and stand strong together. We need to encourage each other and make sure we receive our strength from the Lord through prayer.

Honor Your Parents

Many of us will belong to the sandwich generation, where we have to take care of our children and at the same time our aging parents. The Bible is clear that we are not to forget about our parents in their old age. “Listen to your father who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old” (Prov. 23:22). Grandparents have the right to know their grandchildren, and we have the responsibility to see to it. “Grandchildren are the crown of the aged” (Prov. 17:6). This will be another item of busyness for you. Make sure, however, that the busyness is just in your head and feet and let Christ have your whole heart, and he will keep your life whole. Remember to “‘honor your father and mother’ (this is the first commandment with a promise), ‘that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land’” (Eph. 6:2–3).

Through most of history, there weren’t homes for the elderly. They just lived with the children. This is how God meant it: the grandparents can take their share of babysitting, and the younger children can help the grandparents with little things that have become more difficult for them. The world, however, has succeeded quite well in disrupting this too. Its purpose is to pull the family apart and successfully so, because most families are not in a situation where they can have the elderly live with them. However, I’m hopeful it may change back again. I foresee a future where homes for the elderly are considered too expensive and it will be too bothersome for us to keep traveling to the condo where grandpa or grandma is living all alone. Then the world will not have succeeded and we will return to God’s purpose. Until then, we have the responsibility to do as much as we can, all the time praying for strength and grace, both for us and for our parents. Again God is able to change the circumstances in such a way that the whole family is blessed if we let go and expect Jesus to do it and help us.

Media

The media are one of the devil’s most successful endeavors to get God’s people distracted from their relationship with their Maker and Savior.

If you are reading this article, you know it’s not good. You have probably seen kids being accompanied by adults who never even look at them. Or the kids are always behind the computer, being raised (but more often bullied) by the “friends” online. It’s no coincidence that the devil in his society wants the kids online all the time and preferably never with their family or friends in real life anymore.

For the mothers it’s all about distraction. It’s a tough job to be with kids all the time, especially little kids. It can be lonely too. It’s a huge temptation to put your mind to something more adult, more interesting, even more uplifting (like listening to a sermon: that’s legit, right?). As the Preacher says, there’s a time for everything, so we need to be wise with our time. We need to be honest with ourselves: do we spend more time online than in the Bible or in prayer? Do we need as much distraction as we take? Or could our child need a little more attention? What kind of example are we for our children? Remember that raising your kids is the most important task in the world!

We also need to make sure our children get their share of playing outside, playing with other kids, developing their imagination and people skills; staying healthy (with a healthy immune system) by breathing fresh air (not through a mask). Screen time needs to be limited according to age.

There’s another danger about the (social) media that I want to point out, because it concerns the safety of your family. That is that we are giving up our privacy for the sake of convenience and so we are helping to create a surveillance state. Whenever we log in, we give up some of our history and even our identity. We put family pictures out there, we live the highlights of our life online, we share our children, our opinions, and our dinners. . . . and we give it to institutions that don’t care about us. When they know everything about us, they can start to control us. We need to realize that we give them the control and that’s exactly how they like it. More and more they can tell you what to buy, and what to think, and even what to do. They will make your decisions for you: “Alexa, where shall we go eat tonight?” It starts as a convenience but will end up with control. So if the world is starting to control us, it’s because we allowed it to. We need to be aware that we are in the world but not of the world, as Jesus said. We need to keep praying that we will not be led into temptation but be delivered from evil.

Be Encouraged in the Lord

In Matthew 25:1–13 we read the parable Jesus told about ten virgins. Five were foolish and five were wise. When the bridegroom after a long wait finally arrived, only the wise virgins could go in and celebrate the wedding with the bridegroom. The wise virgins were like the Proverbs 31 woman: they were well prepared for everything. They looked ahead and made sure they had enough oil, just in case. So they went and bought it before they left to meet the bridegroom. The Proverbs 31 woman is not afraid of snow for her household, because she has made sure they are all well clothed (v. 21). We mothers need to be prepared: for our own faith (like the wise virgins) and for our families (like the woman in Proverbs 31). There will be a time when it is too late to work on your own faith. There may come a time when it’s too late to take a stand for your family. So be prepared. Be filled with the Holy Spirit and the Word of God, so plentiful that you won’t run out of faith even if the wait, the challenges, the temptations, the problems, take a very long time.

Be like a wise virgin and the Proverbs 31 woman, even though that takes a lot of courage. Keeping your faith alive and well is not to be taken lightly or for granted. It requires work, it requires thinking and Bible reading, it requires sacrifices, and it requires a lot of prayer. This we can do only by the help of the Holy Spirit. We need to stay close enough to our Lord and filled enough with the Holy Spirit that we will be ready to enter the feast of our Bridegroom Jesus when he comes.

1. If you want to see a professional counselor, make sure this person is a mature Christian. A helpful article is written by Beth Claes, “How Do I Know If This Counselor Is Right for Me?” (www.thegospelcoalition.org/ article/counselor-right/).

Annemarieke Ryskamp was born and raised in the Netherlands. She graduated with a master’s degree in Dutch Language and Literature from Utrecht University and worked for the Dutch Al’Abre and as a secondary school teacher at United World College in Singap0re. She attends Dutton United Reformed Church (MI), where she leads various Bible study groups and mentor groups. She has two sons who are currently in graduate studies.