This concludes the series of Rev. John Kruis of Sussex, New Jersey, on the biblical method of counseling promoted by Dr. Jay Adams.

As nouthetic counselors help identify unsolved problems they also direct the counselees and work intensively with them on scriptural change. They do not assume that they will understand what is required of them. Nor do they accept the idea of the Rogerian and other non-directive counselors that it is not their business to tell counselees what they must believe and what they ought to do. Rather, they give very explicit instruction, confronting them especially with the Word of God. Do we not confess that Word to be the infallible rule for faith and life? It is ideally suited for every counseling case. For, “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work” (II Tim. 3:16, 17). And so it is that we seek to bring the light of the Word to shine on every problem, to guide and direct each counselee. We give detailed instruction in the Scriptures as they have bearing on each specific problem. This is true also when it comes right down to the nitty gritty things of life. For example, recently I spent the greater part of two counseling sessions instructing a father (who had physically abused his sons) on how to properly guide and discipline his children. Very practical instruction is also given on how to apply the principles set forth in the ·word of God.9 This is made effective through the work of the Holy Spirit!

Homework?

At the same time nouthetic counselors give homework assignments as they work with the counselees. To this one hears such objections as:

“That’s really being naive.”

“What an unsophisticated approach to counseling.”

“You can’t deal effectively with complex problems in such a simplistic way . . . . Treat people like that? That will really turn them off.”

This aspect of nouthetic counseling perhaps receives the most severe criticism. I must admit that when I first read Competent to Counsel when Jay Adams talked about giving homework assignments, this did not appeal to me. Not at all! It seemed to me too that I would certainly turn people off by trying such a thing. Wouldn’t they be insulted—being treated like juveniles, or high school students at best? For about a year I used other aspects of nouthetic counseling; although falteringly, but rejected the idea of giving homework assignments. Finally, after reading The Christian Counselor’s Manual (pp. 294–343) where Adams thoroughly explains the rationale for the mechanics of homework assignments, I was ready to give it a try. I soon learned by experience (and by observation as I took the Pastor’s Training Course under Dr. Adams) that giving homework assignments is one of the key factors in the success of nouthetic counseling. When counselees do their homework faithfully they usually make rapid progress in solving their problems. In fact, it can be said that usually the progress counselees make is in direct proportion to the faithfulness with which they carry out their homework assignments.

   

Examples

What are these assignments like? They are very specific instructions on how to work at change in the areas in which problems have developed. What do they include? They include such things as: reading and studying specified Bible passages that have bearing on their proble ms; reading what certain Christian authors have written on these matters; keeping record of the problems that arise between counseling sessions, indicating how they were handled and how they should have been handled; keeping a record of failures to overcome a particular sin. They include specific directions to take action, such as breaking off a wrong relationship; going to a person to effect a reconciliation; looking for employment; spending time with the family; establishing regular family devotions; setting up a family budget.10

Here are some samples of homework assignments given in actual counseling cases. In the case of Dave and Betty (mentioned previously): (1) “Read Eph. 5:21–33 and each of you write down in your own words what God is saying to you in this passage of Scripture.” (On the one hand Dave had woefully neglected to take leadership in the home and had failed in very many ways to manifest love. On the other hand Betty was not submissive to her husband.) (2) “Each make a list of your sins in your marriage so that we can go to work on change in those areas.” (3) “Keep a record of the problems that arise this week. Indicate how you handled them and how you should have handled them” (using the PROBLEM-SOLUTION SHEET).11 (4) “Have four family conferences this week, following the instructions given to you.” (5) “Read chapters 1 to 4 in Christian Living In The Home.”12 For Dave only: (1) “To help overcome the sins against the seventh commandment, read the assigned Scripture passages and write down in your own words what bearing this has on your problem.” (2) “Change your working hours so that you can spend more time with your wife and family (he had agreed that this should and could be done).” (3) “Make a list of things you should do around the home and begin this week to do them.” For Betty alone: (1) “To help overcome the sin of pride, read the assigned passages of Scripture and write down at least seven things the Lord is saying to you a bout pride.” (2) “Read Chapter 6, ‘A Word to Wives,’ in Christian Living In The Home.” (3) “To break the habit of nagging and criticizing your husband, keep a record this week of the times you criticize and/or nag him, indicating what occasioned it.” (To break such habits this kind of assignment is given for several weeks, until the habit is broken.) (4) “Look for opportunities to compliment Dave and express gratitude for the things he does.” (You see, it is not sufficient to no longer do the wrong things, one must develop the habit of doing the right things. Put off and put on.)

Dealing With Anger

Take also Bill’s case. He, a sophomore, had just been suspended from high school for the second time because he had started a fist-fight with another student. The data gathered in the first counseling session indicated that Bill habitually gave violent expression to his anger. This was true at school, at home or wherever a conflict arose. He was a hot-tempered person. These are some of the assignments he was given as he worked at overcoming the sin of handling anger in the wrong way: (1) “Apologize to the teachers and others you have wronged and ask them to forgive you.” (This he did, and returned the next week with very evident joy because broken relationships were restored in the right way; a new experience in his life.) (2) “Read the assigned Bible passages dealing with anger and write down at least 10 things God is saying to you about anger.” (3) “Pray daily that you may overcome this sin.” (4) “Read the pamphlet by Dr. Adams on ‘What Do You Do When Anger Gets The Upper Hand.’” (5) “Make a list of at least eight things you can do to show kindness to your parents, brother and sisters, and do them this week.” (An angry per son is usually very self-centered. He must become one who thinks of the needs of others, become self-giving instead of self-seeking. Put off and put on.) Bill did this assignment with special interest and repeated it two or three times. Each week he could hardly wait to tell me about the things he had done to please others. By carrying out his homework assignments Bill changed fantastically in a short time. We did, of course, also work with the total home situation, clearing up other problems that had contributed to his trouble.

Weekly “Coaching”

To make this method effective, nouthetic counselors schedule weekly counseling. Although this is perhaps quite apparent from what has already been said, I make a special point of it now for a very good reason. I have spoken to colleagues who have partially accepted the nouthetic principles and method of counseling, but have not yet scheduled regular weekly counseling. And, many parishioners do not expect busy pastors to do so.13 They would expect this of a professional counselor. Yet it is very essential. It is quite ineffective for a counselor to give all the counsel he can in two or three sessions, and then say something like this, “If you keep this advice well in mind and carry it out, I’m sure your problems will be cleared up. I trust that you will go to work on it. Let’s see how it goes.” That would be like a basketball coach giving all the instruction he can in one or two weeks to the players and then saying, “Now remember all that I have told you—and practice it.” You recognize that this just would not work. Right? So it is with counseling. Soon after counselees begin to work for biblical change in order to solve their problems, there is change. There‘s movement in the right direction. This momentum must be maintained. To maintain it the coach, the counselor, must be in there working with them each week. The counselees need stimulation, prodding, repeated admonition, correction, encouragement and additional counsel (along with the weekly homework assignments) as they continue to work on change and become involved in the changing situation. Without this, most people would flounder and/or give up.

Furthermore, problems usually have many strands. Seldom can all of the strands be discovered and dealt with adequately in two or three weeks. In fact, often, as we work our way through the problems, the most essential data comes out after the first or second counseling session. As we go over the homework and discuss that which happened between counseling sessions, counselees help to clarify their problems and reveal how they are handling them. This gives the counselor the opportunity to give further counsel in the light of the new data and the changing situation.

Active Sanctification

Wha t happens through this kind of weekly counseling? Through t he sustained efforts of the counselees as they do their homework faithfully(?) The Holy Spirit works change in their hearts and lives. You see, this is really working at sanctification, zeroing in on those areas of life in which there is special, urgent need, usually the areas in which distressing problems have come. It is putting off the old man and putting on the new (Eph. 4:22–24). It is working out one‘s salvation (Phil. 2:12, 13) in specific problem areas; actively putting to death “whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry” (Col. 3:5); also ridding oneself of “all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, filthy language” (Col. 3:8). It is also clothing oneself “with compassion, kind ness, humility, gentleness and patience” (Col. 3:12). So then the ugly obstacles that have been so destructive in one’s personal, marital and/or family life are removed. New and godly attitudes, habits, ways of acting and reacting are developed. Consequently, personal problems are cleared up. Marriages are saved, rebuilt and made solid. Relationships are restored. Homes are transformed. What have been regarded as psychiatric and/or emotional problems are solved. Feelings are changed. Life takes on a new outlook and frequently a new direction. God is glorified. That which no mere counselor could ever do the Holy Spirit powerfully accomplishes through this means.

In the Lord’s Work

This is neither to say, nor to imply, that all cases work out the way we would desire. Counselors sometimes fail. Some people proudly and stubbornly refuse to recognize their real problem and/or refuse to change. However, nouthetic counselors can rejoice in seeing a high rate of success.

Let me emphasize once more, though, that to God alone belongs all the glory. For it is He who changes and transforms lives through His Word. In nouthetic counseling we are always prayerfully working with His Word. It is so wonderfully true that “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.” (II Tim. 3:16)

9. For a very interesting and helpful expose on the contrasting unbiblical, non-directive Rogerian approach see Competent To Counsel, pp. 78–92. 10. See Manual, pp. 301–310, where Adams lists and explains six purposes for homework assignments, and pp. 318–320, for samples he gives. 11. Forms designed for various kinds of assignments have been published by Jay Adams. The Christian Counselor’s Starter Packet can be obtained from the Presbyterian and Reformed Publishing Co., Box 817, Phillipsburg, N.J. 08865. 12. Some might wonder, “Why such a strong use of the works of Jay Adams?” We do, of course, also assign reading in other publications. However, Jay Adams’ publications are not only excellent. They are designed especially for use in counseling. I have found it to be very helpful to have books, booklets and pamphlets available in my study so that counselees can obtain them at the time the assignments are given to them. Then I know they will have the material they need. No time is lost. 12. If there’s a will there’s a way. I have scheduled counseling both before and after evening catechism classes and society meetings. For example, I went to the home of one young couple for marriage counseling weekly, after the young people’s catechism class, for about 12 weeks.